Shattered Realms: Mortal Tale

You have a ton of fun and unique aspects going on in your game! I really like the tutorial, explaining saving, equipment, jumping/moving. I also love the ability to pick gender/class. Combat is solid so far, nice work!

The main aspects I would look at would be just grammatical and style in the writing/dialogue. Here are some specifics -

A few breaks in between during the intro would make it seem more linear and not have the player get lost, just simply by saying "Meanwhile..." or "Elsewhere, Death intervenes on the fate of another..." just to give the player a chance to shift/segway that something else is happening in another area.

Voicing - Try to put yourself into character as you write each part, especially when the voices from the lights are talking. It's cool, the one good one bad, but the one that is "bad" seems to step in and out of character. By that I mean, talks formally, then talks casually. The "good" talks formal the whole way. To ensure you differentiate, try to really nail down which style you want out of him, and make the dialogue keep that style.

A couple grammar issues/typos - "You've being watched..."
There is no voice/actor change from "Training, what for?" and "Why, your survival". A line break so they are on separate pages would clear it up.
Just in general, page breaks a little more frequently, use them like paragraphs or pauses. There are some good complete thoughts that would fit to have a break after, then continue a new thought after. It is very effective to create a conversation/thought flow in the storyline/dialogue.

I really liked the boulder chase and some of the physical mechanics/puzzle style you put into the game. Its not often you see those types of real time events happen in games like this, so it was refreshing. Way to go, cool stuff!

The last feedback I have right now is music. The ambient sounds give a definite feel for the game. Maybe adding just very quiet music to that would help "fill up" the feel a little bit. The main time that you really notice is when you go into the battle, there isn't much sound change, then when you hit the victory of battles, its a fanfare. It is a very abrupt change. Some background music, even if at a 20-30% level would help give some foundation, then battles can ramp up a little after that.

Overall, very cool project - lots of good things going on. You can tell that your mechanics and events are top notch and you spent some time getting them to execute right. A lot of cool features with picking gender/class/name, being able to jump and interact with the world to have some puzzles and real-time challenges. Nice start - looking forward to some updates!

I'd play the game if it was under the link, instead I'll rant about the art and visual design a little.

The use of gradients and pillow shading is abyssmal. The characters aren't even consistent in proportions between themselves. The portrait cut feels very wrong. UI elements fighting with each other for display priority is laughable, making things kinda transparent makes this even worse.
I smell that it's made with RPG Maker - an engine created deliberatly to enable newbies to create JRPGs without programming, letting them focus on story and art. Well, I don't know about the story, but the main characters and the overal visual design is so bad, that I suspect it also hurts the storytelling - especially the distracting, tiring to look at interface and text boxes.
Also the JRPG combat is boring in general, but that's not that much of your fault, so you get a pass about that.
Hope you update the download one day so I can rip the game apart properly one day.
Sending all the love,
DyingSilence